


Coffee In Los Angeles

by 8bitcyborg



Series: Lovewatch Birthday Fics Collection [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Blow Jobs, Fluff, M/M, Sexual Content, moving to the big city
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 13:46:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13365978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8bitcyborg/pseuds/8bitcyborg
Summary: «A friend in the big city. An unexpected rainstorm. A chance meeting at a coffee shop.Jack Morrison falls hard for a hot barista named Gabriel Reyes.»





	Coffee In Los Angeles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HandsomeRhysx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandsomeRhysx/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Accacia! Hope you have a marvelous day! Here's your gift!<3

“Has the country boy finally lost it?”

Jack sighs contently, bare registering Ana’s teasing voice as he watches the sunset over Los Angeles’ skyline from their balcony. Soft pink and cerulean blue, mixing into lavender at the edges, swirling around with an absolutely beautiful glowing orange. There used to be some spectacular sunsets back home in Bloomington as well, but this one had an exceptionally enthralling quality to it. He accepts the steaming mug of tea she hands him. It’s Turkish peppermint, the very same he was always served when he visited the Amari household in his childhood days.  
Ana had moved away with her family to Los Angeles when they were both 16, due to her father being offered a very prestigious position in the company he worked for.  
Now at the ripe age of 24 they had finally been reunited. Ana had picked him up at the airport, about to burst from excitement from having her _‘Jackie’_ back with her again.

“I’m glad you decided to come out here, Jack. Country life suits you, but you cannot go through life without having experienced the wonders of the big city at least once.” She sips her tea calmly, making a mental note that they should probably go grocery shopping in the morning. They've decided to order some Chinese for tonight.  
Jack stretches and groans as his back pops. The flight had been a long and boring one. He looks at Ana, a smile stretching over his face as the giddiness over seeing her again bubbles in his stomach. He picks her up in a tight hug, swinging her around as she lets out a startled yelp that soon melts into laughter.

“I’m so glad we did this, Ana. I never imagined we would one day move in together like this. I love it already!”  
He smiles, then looks at her a bit sheepishly. “Are you sure it is alright though? I mean, you are dating that Canadian guy… He might not be too keen on-”

“Shush!” she interrupts him. “Sam is a decent guy. He doesn’t suffer from _‘toxic masculinity’_ like a lot of others do. He is well aware that we go way back and are indeed only friends. I might also have told him that you do not see women _‘that way’_. Do not worry though, he is very much okay with that.” She adds the last part softly, knowing that Jack was not fully open about that yet. It came from growing up in a small country town. The views on that type of thing being very much split. Jack had wisely kept his mouth shut about his preferences.  
He gives her a solemn smile, nodding.

“But know this, Jackie boy, there are _a lot_ of cute guys around this area. Might want to just go do some reconnaissance a bit later.” she says smartly, a sly grin on her lips.

“Anaaaaa~” Jack groans in response, embarrassed, but at the same time a little bit excited. He did want to explore that further, it was just that he didn’t exactly _know_ how.

“You ready to order some food?” Ana asks, handing him a take away menu.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face later that night, excited over all the new possibilities L.A could potentially bring.

* * *

He’s settled in comfortably a week later. He and Ana has gotten into a nice routine. The first to rise in the morning makes breakfast, then Ana leaves for her morning classes at university while Jack tackles some house chores before heading out job hunting.

This particular Tuesday is grey and sullen, but Jack’s spirits are high. He’s managed to leave job applications at seven different places today, and he still has more than enough time left to go grocery shopping _and_ make dinner before Ana gets home! The day couldn’t be more perfect.  
Except, it didn’t have to start _raining_ so heavily and he _could_ have thought about bringing an umbrella with him considering the heavy rain clouds that had been looming on the horizon. He legs it and enters a little coffee shop on the nearest street corner. Might as well wait this one out. The place is pretty hip, actually it’s pretty punk when he thinks about it. He didn’t read the sign properly when he entered, but the name is repeated on the logo by the till. _‘Blackwatch Coffeehouse’_. Curious name for a rather curious place.  
A mop of shocking pink hair appears in his field of vision suddenly, darting between the empty tables picking up way too many mugs and plates on its way. The stack of tableware has risen dangerously high and is about to fall over before Jack intervenes, catching a portion of it in his hands.

“Whoah!” the owner of the pink hair says, looking like she is about to fall off balance but she regains it just in the nick of time. “Oh my god I’m so sorry, luv! Blast, Gabe told me _not_ to do that but I still do it, oof!”

He follows her to the counter, handing the plates and mugs over to her as she stacks them neatly by the door to the back.

“Cheers, love!” she chirps happily. A rather punk looking young man with neon green hair appears and starts carrying them away, probably to some dishwasher Jack assumes.

“Lena, Reyes needs you to run an errand to the post office for him. He said it was urgent.” the green-haired punk says when he comes back to pick up the rest of the dishes. He hands Lena a few envelopes.

“Right on it!” she replies, puffing her chest out and darting outside into the rain, no jacket or umbrella or anything. Jack is left alone in the shop again as he wonders just how ditzy and carefree these people were before a third person appears behind the counter.

If Jack hadn’t known he was gay before, he would have known for sure now.

The man is dark-skinned, tall and muscular. He looks like he could possibly be Latino. He’s got a nice, full goatee and a sidecut complete with sweeping, onyx curls. His eyes are a warm coffee brown, framed by long, coal-black lashes. His t-shirt is so tight underneath his apron that Jack’s mouth is positively watering.

“You alright there, _mijo_?” the man asks, a curious smile painted on his lips. Jack realises with mortification that he has been staring. He shakes his head lightly, pink creeping into his cheeks.

“I’m sorry I… I just moved here, I got surprised by the rain, I didn’t plan to... “ he curses himself inwardly for rambling. Holy shit the guy was _so hot_. He’s still watching Jack patiently and Jack just wants to sink into the floor.

“Ah.” he says after a long pause. “Yeah, L.A can be a bitch like that. Weather a little unstable this time of the year. Can I get you anything while you wait?”

Jack’s never had much fancy coffee in his life. He sweeps his eyes over the menu hanging on the wall, no idea what’s good or not.

“Could you… recommend me something?” he pleads. The man chuckles, clearly entertained by Jack’s see through nervousness. Goddamnit it. He’s already ruined his shot at a good first impression.

“Tell you what?” the man says, leaning a bit over the counter towards Jack. “Tell me your name, and I’ll recommend you something from that.” Jack stares at him in what must be dumb disbelief but he manages to compose himself.

“Wait, that’s rude of me, let me go first. I’m _Gabriel_.”

Gabriel. Like the angel Gabriel. Because that was what Jack was equating this man to.

“I’m Jack.” Jack replies, relieved his voice isn’t quivering like his insides are.

“Jack, huh…” Gabriel murmurs. “I think you could use a- _Love Swirl_.” Jack’s mouth is so dry. There’s the faintest hint of Gabriel’s cologne reaching his nostrils and his legs feels like jelly. A tiny part of his brain is screaming that Gabriel is _flirting_ with him.

“What?” he croaks in response. Gabriel grins.

“Nothing too fancy. It’s a regular Latte, but with a _delicious vanilla syrup_ , and an _enticing dark chocolate syrup_ mixed in _together_.”

All he can do is nod slowly. He can feel Gabriel’s eyes linger on him as the man moves into the coffee making space, the hum of machines starting up. Jack lets out a long breath, finding the nearest table and sitting down. A week in L.A, and he already had a crush. There was no denying it. Gabriel, of Blackwatch Coffeehouse, was illegally hot, and flirty. Jack was by no means bad to look at. Hard work on his parents farm and a love for the outdoors had left him with a body to be envied. His skin didn’t take to much colour, so he was still somewhat pale. But paired with his baby blue eyes and blonde hair, he was what most women would call _a text book prince_ , and he hadn’t been short on offers growing up. Too bad he didn’t swing that way.  
Gabriel comes to his table moments later with a delicious smelling, steaming coffee in a sleek mug.

“Here you go, Jack. Welcome to _El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles de Porciúncula_ , or Los Angeles for short.” he says and winks. “This one’s on the house.”

“Thank you, Gabriel, wow that’s really nice of you! It smells delicious~”

Jack takes a sip, and it does taste as delicious as it smells. Jack’s brain won’t let him have even a second’s pause from his crush as it supplies him with a vivid image of how Gabriel might taste on his tongue. He’s about to choke, but is saved by the green-haired guy from earlier, calling for Gabriel’s attention from behind the counter.

“Ey yo, Reyes, phone call!”

Gabriel turns back to Jack who has managed to calm himself somewhat, an apologetic smile on his face.

“Duty calls. You enjoy that coffee, Jack.”

Oh that he would indeed. He would also very much enjoy the view presented to him as Gabriel saunters away, perfect round ass and strong thighs clad in charcoal jeans. He realises with a flush to his cheeks that he might want to wait a little while for his _nether region_ to calm down before rising from his table.

Jack has finished his coffee and surfed the news on his phone for a bit before he realises what time it actually is.

_‘Oh fuck! Ana is going to be home soon!’_

He’s scrambling to pocket his phone and pick up his papers when Gabriel comes back from his phone call.

“Ah, you in a hurry, Jack?”

“Yeah shit I’m sorry. My roommate will be home soon and I promised I’d make them dinner. Thanks for the coffee by the way, it was really good!” Jack rambles, sighing as he throws a glance out the window, rain still pouring down. Gabriel chuckles as he collects his mug.

“I’m glad you liked it. Wait here for a second.”

Gabriel comes back and hands him an umbrella. Jack gives him a questioning look.

“You’re gonna need that. It’s mine, but I’m hitching a ride with my roommate tonight after I have closed up shop so it’s fine, I don’t need it tonight. Please bring it back the next time you come by.”

Jack swears Gabriel’s voice drops a few octaves as he finishes the last sentence. He nods, taking the umbrella.

“Thanks, Gabriel, that’s really kind of you.”

“Please, call me _Gabe_ , Jack.” Gabriel says and _winks_.

“Thanks, _Gabe_.” Jack all but croaks. He leaves the shop, his legs again feeling like jelly and his brain like mush.

He had it _bad_.

* * *

Ana is already home when he gets back, humming over a pot of something smelling heavenly.

“Welcome home! How did job searching go? Also, no need to apologise! I know you’re gonna want to grovel at my feet for letting this tired woman come home to a dark apartment, no dinner ready!” she laughs, and Jack laughs with her. Ana is a truly wonderful woman. Had he been straight, he would probably have wanted to marry her.

“Ana.” Jack says dreamily, all thoughts about keeping his crush a bit secret thrown out the window. He sits on the couch, a dopey smile on his face.

“Alright, spill the beans already, Jackie!” she says, pointing at him with her stirring spoon.

“He’s so handsome I don’t know what to do with myself.” he admits, another blush creeping into his cheeks. “He’s a barista. I met him while I took shelter from the rain on my way home. He lent me his umbrella. Ana, this guy… this _guy_.”

Ana casts a glance at the discarded umbrella by the door. She looks to Jack, trying to keep the smug smile away from her lips.

“Oh? Well that’s good! What’s his name?” she chirps playfully.

“Gabriel.” Jack replies dreamily. He doesn’t see the absolute look of delight on Ana’s face.

“You’ll have to show him to me sometime, Jackie.” she says smugly, going back to stirring their dinner. “Don’t forget we’re having a party here on Friday. Your official _‘Welcome to L.A’_ party.”

“Yeah…” Jack replies, not really paying attention to anything but the movie playing in his head, starring Gabriel Reyes.”

* * *

Friday arrives and Jack is doing his usual round of handing in job applications and just scouting different shops and potential places. Tonight there was a party to attend, so he’d better head home soon so he could shower before any guests arrive. He’s brought Gabe’s umbrella with him with the intention of giving it back to him and he would be severely lying if he didn’t say he was _more than giddy_ to see the man again.

He steps inside the shop, nervousness and giddiness bubbling in his gut. He spots the pink-haired girl, Lena wasn’t it, behind the till.

“Oy, hey luv! Fancy seeing you again! Thank you for your assistance last time!” she rambles. She really was sweet, and a wee bit ditzy.

“Ah don’t mention it.” Jack replies, rubbing the back of his head. He only did what any polite person would do.

“Is uh, Gabriel here today?”

Before Lena can answer, the green-haired guy pops up behind the counter as well, drying his hands on a towel.

“Gabe went home early I’m afraid. Guy’s finally going out on a Friday night for a change.” he chuckles. “Oh, I’m Genji. Nice to meet you, Jack.” Genji says. Jack is a little bit flustered the guy would introduce himself so casually but hey, friendly people are good people.

“And I’m Lena!” Lena says, doing a little adorable spin.

“Nice to meet you both.” Jack says, despite being very disappointed in not being able to see Gabe before the weekend. Maybe he could casually take a trip back tomorrow. The coffee _was_ good.

“He lent me his umbrella on Tuesday, cause of the heavy rain. I’ll leave it here and uhm, tell him thanks for me?”

Genji is looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a lopsided smirk. Lena giggles, and Jack isn’t sure how to feel.

“Of course, luv!” Lena replies as she composes herself, accepting the umbrella from him.

“Alright, see you guys then.” he says with an awkward wave. Lena and Genji waves back at him, and he hurries home to finish getting ready for the party.

* * *

“Ana! Have you seen my t-shirt?” Jack yells from the upstairs bathroom. He’s done showering, shaving and dressing himself halfways.

“Which one?” Ana yells back from downstairs.

“The marine blue one, with the numbers 76 on the back?”

“It’s down here, Jack. You were gonna use it yesterday, but somehow forgot and left it on the couch!”

Ah yes, that he did. He spritzes some nice cologne on himself and checks the mirror. Yep, that’ll do. He’s down the stairs and swings into the livingroom, going straight for the couch when he realises someone’s sitting in it.

That someone is _Gabriel Reyes_.

Jack all but stops in his tracks. Gabe, is in his apartment. Sitting in his couch. (Well it was all Ana’s but, details!) Wearing a black shirt, topmost buttons undone, with rolled up sleeves. The same intense brown eyes locked on him as he enters the room. Gabe rises from his seat, and there’s the charcoal jeans, hugging his form so deliciously.

“Looking for this?” he says, silky smooth voice caressing Jack’s ears as he hands him his t-shirt.

“Yeah…” Jack replies, swallowing hard. He pulls the t-shirt over his head, a little bit faster than he intended, mussing his hair in the process. Gabe’s eyes are still on him, leaving a trail of fire on his skin.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Jack says, adjusting his hair back to its former state. Before Gabriel can reply, Ana shows up from her bedroom. She’s lovely in her blue pants suit. Long, black hair flowing freely and make-up on point.

“I believe you two may have already been introduced to each other?” she says, sending Jack a smug smile. “But let me do it formally: Jack, this is my good friend Gabriel, barista from _Blackwatch Coffeehouse_. Gabe, this is Jack, my very dear childhood friend who is now living with me.” She’s standing between them, a hand placed on each of their arms. Gabriel chuckles.

“Yeah, I had the pleasure of meeting Jack already this Tuesday.” he says. Jack nods sheepishly. Ana zips to the kitchen and pours them both a cup of her homemade punch, which Jack accepts gracefully taking a big sip immediately. He wasn’t too keen on drinking, but he’s going to need _something_ to calm his nerves now that Gabriel was around. He kinda wants to yell at Ana but at the same time thank her profusely. How was he going to survive the evening? The doorbell rings and that ensures Jack a little pause as he has to go greet more of the guests. A scruffy man in a flannel shirt and cowboy hat enters with a stern looking asian with a sidecut and several piercings. The cowboy presents himself as Jesse, and Gabe’s roommate. The man with him was Hanzo, Jesse’s boyfriend. Jack found them an odd match, but it was truly endearing to see how puppy-eyed Jesse was around Hanzo and how the asian feigned being irritated, only to calmly return the cowboy’s affections a few seconds later. From Ana’s university comes Amélie, a French Literature student, Reinhardt, a German chef in training, and Angela, a Swiss medical student. Lena and Genji stumble through the door a few moments later, several other people behind them again, and the party is officially on.

“So how you feelin’ bout the big city huh? Heard from Ana yer a country boy, like me!”

Jesse is a boisterous man. Seemingly in a perpetually good mood and making people around him laugh. Jack decides he likes him.

“Bloomington, Indiana.” Jack answers, nursing his cold beer. “You?”

“Santa Fe, New Mexico!” Jesse replies proudly. “My fella Hanzo over there is from Japan, Hanamura t’be specific. Would love to go there someday.”

The way Jesse looks at Hanzo, who is having a quiet conversation with Lena by the punch, is the exact way Jack has dreamed of having someone look at _him_. Someday.

“Have you been together for long?” Jack asks.

“I reckon it’ll be 3 years now next month? Yeah, that’s about right!” Jesse says smiling.

“Congrats in advance then.” Jack replies, smiling. They had to be a good match, for them to stay together for that long.

He mingles a bit with the rest of the guests after. He bonds with a buff woman named Aleksandra, who curiously had the same hair colour as Lena, over weight lifting tips. She was training to be a weight lifting champion, but before she came to the US from Russia, she did heavy lifting in her father’s mechanical workshop. Jack entertains her with stories from his days growing up on his parents farm, heavy lifting being no joke there either.  
As he looks out over their living room, his eyes locks with Gabe. He’s engaged in conversation with Amélie, who has her back turned to Jack. Jack can’t help but smile as he yet again slowly loses himself to those warm eyes. Gabe’s lips pull up at the corner and Jack has to look away because damn he’s so handsome!  
He downs another beer before nature calls and he leaves for his bathroom upstairs, just to have a small timeout.  
He _really_ wanted to talk more to Gabe, but the other guests at the party had been so keen on getting to know _him_. Not that he minded per se, and it would be rude to just wave them off, but _Gabe_ …

He had not expected to almost bump into Gabe when he exited the bathroom.

“Hey.” the barista greets him smoothly and Jack’s senses are assaulted by that same heavenly cologne he smelled that Tuesday. They were standing _so close_.

“Hey.” Jack replies, proud of being able not to just fall over in a shaking mess.

“You doing alright? Must be a little tiring meeting so many new people in one night.” Gabe says, taking a sip from Ana’s fruity punch.

“I’m alright, especially now.” Jack replies, not really thinking that through. Gabe’s watching him intently, eyes smouldering and Jack swallows.

“Really now?” Gabe says, voice a dangerously sweet tone as he leans closer. _‘Oh fuck.’_ Their lips are inches from meeting, Jack can feel Gabe’s breath on his skin, smelling of sweet, fruity punch.

“Now’s your chance to say stop.” Gabe whispers against his mouth. So close, _so close_.

In a matter of seconds they’ve locked themselves inside of Jack’s room, Jack being pressed up against the wall, Gabe ravaging his mouth. He tastes of the same fruity punch he’s been drinking, and everything good Jack can think of. Gabe’s hands are roaming his sides, settling on his waist in a deliciously possessive grip. Jack’s mind is going hazy with the feeling of Gabe’s rock hard body pressing up against his. Jack’s hard already, and Gabe is faring no better, as evident by the bulge in his jeans, pressing into Jack’s thigh. Jack groans into their kiss, opening his mouth and allowing Gabe’s tongue full access. The kiss is hot, messy and oh so satisfying. Who needs to be drunk on alcohol when you could get drunk on a hot makeout session instead?  
Gabe’s hands sneak up underneath Jack’s t-shirt, skimming over his abs and reaching further up to ghost over his nipples, teasing them into rising peaks. Jack moans, having to break the kiss to turn his head to the side, gasping for breath. Gabe takes advantage of this by assaulting his neck, leaving scorching kisses all over.

“Fuck, Jack, I’ve thought about this since we first met. Do you have any idea how attractive you are?” Gabe murmurs in his ear, his fingers still busy with their exploration of his chest. “You drive me crazy, _cariño_.”

“Gabe…” Jack groans. Gabe chuckles and he moves to kissing Jack’s collarbone, his hands having slid back down to his waist again, skirting dangerously low. Gabe doesn’t play around and a firm hand plants itself in front of Jack’s pants, caressing his cock.

“Aah, Gabe~” Jack moans weakly, biting his lip. That seems to spur Gabe on even more as he seeks out Jack’s mouth again, kissing him feverishly.

“Is it okay if I suck you off, Jack?” Gabe whispers against his mouth. The suggestion has Jack’s head spinning and he manages to breathe out a _‘yes~! gods yes please, Gabe~’_.  
Gabe is on his knees in an instant, working open Jack’s belt buckle and pulling his jeans down. He pauses to put his hand on Jack clothed erection yet again, a smug smile playing upon his lips.

“Look who’s already so hard and wet for me~” he croons, dragging his finger along the wet spot on the front of Jack’s boxers. Jack bites his lip hard, trying not to make too much sound.

“Oh _cariño_ , don’t hold back, I wanna hear you~”

Jack lets out a broken moan as Gabriel pulls down his boxers and gets to work on his cock. He kisses the tip, swirling his tongue around before engulfing him whole. Jack is seeing stars. Here he has the most gorgeous man on earth, only having met a few days ago, and he is on his knees in front of Jack, sucking him off just like that. His hands tentatively goes to Gabe’s curly mohawk, silently asking permission, his stomach fluttering when Gabe only gives him a smouldering look. He’s such a pretty picture, lips around Jack’s cock, those intense eyes, Jack’s fingers entwined in his hair. Gods, how was he supposed to last?  
He whimpers as Gabe slides his tongue all the way on the underside of his cock, strong hand working him firmly, the other gripping his thigh possessively.

“Gabe~” Jack moans weakly, one of his hands shifting to press against the wall behind him.

“Sssh, just let go for me, Jack~” Gabe soothes him, his sinful tongue yet again leaving trails of fire and saliva against his rock hard member. Jack’s fingers tighten in Gabe’s hair as the man takes him fully into his mouth again. He’s almost hitting his nose against Jack’s pelvis. There’s a familiar tightening in Jack’s abdomen and he gasps, breathing coming short.

“Gabe, I’m going to~”

“Come for me, Jackie~” Gabe murmurs, hand, lips and tongue working in tandem, coaxing one of the best orgasms of his life out of him. He bites his free hand to dampen his moan, shaking as the sweet pulse of release washes over him, groaning yet again as he opens his eyes to witness Gabe swallowing _everything_. Gabe rises with a smug smile on his lips, wiping himself for show with the back of his hand. Jack is truly out of breath. This _amazing_ man.

“You alright there, _cariño_?” Gabe asks smugly, leaning in to kiss him again. The kiss is soft and slow this time, letting Jack comfortably pull up his underwear and pants again.

“Let me return the favour~” Jack says when he’s regained his breath.

“Not now. We’ve almost been gone for too long. But I’d certainly like for that to happen sometime…” Gabe replies, a hand coming up to cup Jack’s chin.

They sneak back downstairs with a few minutes between them. Jack vaguely feigning having felt he needed a breather after having been introduced to so many new people. Ana had nodded solemnly, but she had given him a shit-eating grin when no one was looking. That woman knew _everything_ , there was no point in trying to hide anything from her.  
The last of the guests are milling out later, Jesse and Hanzo being some of the last ones to leave, Jesse tipping his hat in farewell before being dragged off by an obviously grumpy and tired Hanzo.  
Only Gabe is left and Ana has conveniently retreated to her bathroom for the time being. Jack’s cheeks takes on a nice rosy colour as he meets Gabe’s eyes.

“I’d love to meet you again.” he says, feeling brave for being the one to say it first.

“Likewise.” Gabe replies, flipping open his phone and saving Jack’s number to it. The goodnight kiss that comes after had only felt natural and Jack sighs as Gabe smiles at him, a soft _‘good night, cariño~’_ spilling from his lips.  
Ana barges through the bathroom door the instant Gabe’s out of the house and her grin is stretching her face impossibly wide.

“Aw yeah! Jack’s got a date!” she shouts triumphantly!

“Yeah~” Jack admits, still blushing a bit.

“Told you L.A would be good for you.” she says smartly, and Jack won’t deny that.

He falls asleep with a grin on his face, happier than he has been in years.

He couldn’t _wait_ to see Gabe again!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please consider leaving kudos/comments if you enjoyed my writing<3
> 
> I'm on Twitter where I am horny on main and retweet horny stuff like my life depends on it: https://twitter.com/AngryByDefault


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